Karen and Erik

Verdict: Not on your life.

We set out for Asbury Park Grove with high hopes and excitement about using our new camera. As soon as we arrived, we didn’t bother taking the camera out of our pocket.

Erik: “I am not getting married here.”
Me: “Neither am I.”
Erik: “Let’s just leave then.”
Me: “No, it will make a good story for the blog.”

This place was about 30 feet from railroad tracks, and a quarter of a mile from a trailer park. It advertised itself as being in business since the late 1800’s, but I didn’t know the 1800’s had sheet metal siding. We cautiously walked in (all to entertain our readers) and were met with the scent of… well, a combination of mildew, pee and butt. A man we’ll call “DR” greeted us - he was the manager/DJ for the place. He gave off that vibe that told us, “I’m going to hit on your mom and slip a roofie in the bridesmaid’s drink.”

(and yes, the filename they saved this
under on their web site was
“Black People”)

He gave us a tour, but our goal was to be in and out - we could only hold our breath for so long. The ceremony area was basically a small backyard with a sheet metal porch. The reception area was a dirty, smelly (we’ve mentioned the smell, right?) darkened room. When Erik mercifully got a phone call and stepped out, “DR” asked where I worked. When I told him, he said that his buddy once applied for a job there and was turned down. Then he looked at me like it was my fault. Way to make us feel welcome! He also mentioned that their staff would ensure that they were in control of the entire event. It was stressed several times, in fact - THEY ARE IN CONTROL. While I understand what I think he was trying to convey, Erik was thinking, “you don’t know my fiance. SHE is in control.”

There were so many little things about that place that added up to a big “NO” (and I’m sure Erik will add some in the comments), but overall it was dirty, smelly, in a bad part of town, next to railroad tracks, and hosted by a guy who gave us a 20 second tour and seated us at a battered wood table on filthy chairs and then told us how awesome and in control they are.

The good news - there’s another venue that looks lovely, is just barely outside of Charlotte, and is available on our first choice date. Also, we have another venue to visit on Monday - the Providence Country Club.

Thanks to everyone who sent us suggestions on what to budget for. I’ve updated our budgeting page. We still haven’t digested theknot.com’s budgeting help (thanks Dana!) or the Martha Stewart Wedding planner, so I’m sure we’ll add some things along the way (as well as take some things off as we (Karen) get(s) a better idea of the Wedding details).

Have a look again, and throw out anything glaring that we missed (like Rings: thanks Fitz).

(and yes, that picture scares me too)

Verdict - Would work, but…eh.

I think I liked this place more than Karen did, so hopefully she’ll chime in below in the comments. The Palmer Building (according to it’s web site) is a restored Fire School, constructed in the late 1930s in an effort to employ people during the Great Depression. As you can see from the photos (the last of which we’ll be borrowing as our digital camera has arrived!), it has a rubble stone facade around the entire exterior, making it look somewhat like a castle. It’s not over-the-top though, and comes off really nice.

The inside on the other hand, is a little dark. Everything appears to be the original decorations, nicely preserved over the many years the building has been around. However, all the wood is stained very dark, and the interior is very much an auditorium, complete with a stage. The space inside would be very accomodating, and in case of inclement weather, we could use the stage for the ceremony. Since it is a historic building, decorating may be difficult, and we would definitely need to do something to lighten the inside up to look more like a wedding.

The main ceremony area is a nice courtyard guarded by trees and another building (a doctor’s office, with a brick facade), with a patio and steps leading up from the courtyard to the patio, making a natural stage area. Since the other building is a Dr.’s office, we wouldn’t have to worry about people going in and out since it will be a Saturday. Unfortunately, as nice as the courtyard is, it felt a little cramped and might not set up too well for groups larger the 50 (and we’re expecting about 150). I think it would definitely work if we forced it, and the pictures for the ceremony would look outstanding, but the guests might feel uncomfortable in the cramped area, and we don’t want that.

Also, they didn’t have any of the dates available that we were hoping for. They had dates that might work (I’ll know more about September obligations after January). Ultimately, this was another place that would work for us if we needed to, but all in all, it wasn’t as ideal a location as we’re hoping for.

Next up: The Asbury Park Grove

Verdict: Perfectly Adequate

Karen and I visited the Birkdale Country Club on Wednesday. Since our new digital camera had yet to arrive, you’ll have to settle for the (small) pics I copied from their web site. The reception area was alright. Perhaps a little plain, very very white, but adequate for our needs.

It looks like they’re in the middle of a little remodeling (the place reaked of a fresh coat of OIL based paint), and it definitely could use some improvements. The bar, while very large, looked like stained plywood in desperate need of a new coat, the floor was painted grey concrete, and the ceiling was white 2×6 rafters. Not exactly the stuff dreams are made of, but not distracting either, and the space would work well for us. Good set up for the DJ, dance floor, bar, and tables. If we had to go over 150 guests, it might be a little tight, but we’ll see.

The area held for the cermony was nice. It over looked a nice man made lake in the background, and was setup on a nicely manicured lawn. Unfortunately, the pro shop, golf range, and bag drop were all less than 100 ft. away and the cart path ran right next to the area (about 10 ft. from where the ceremony would go on). The coordinator (when she wasn’t dogging other weddings that they’d hosted there) explained that they would coordinate it so that no golfers would go thru during our ceremony, but that is a lot of faith to be placed in the local golf ranger.

Ultimately, this was the first place we saw that would accomodate all of our needs and meet our budget. They didn’t have our preferred date available, but our did have our second date available. We’re going to play wait and see on this one.

Thursday’s visit will be to the Palmer building, an old Fireman’s house.

I almost forgot! We sandwiched our Magnolia Room visit with a super important shopping mission: to buy a digital camera so we can take pictures of wedding planning and post them here, and an XBox 360 (Erik got word that there would be a midday shipment at BestBuy - turns out it was bogus). We came home with neither - no 360s in sight, and all the cameras we liked were sold out.

But good news in store - we found the camera we like online, and it should arrive in a few days. It’s a Canon PowerShot SD400 with 5 megapixels and 3x optical zoom. And it’s pretty.

On Tuesday, we went to visit a possible wedding location. First, an explanation - we are looking for a place that can host both the ceremony and reception. So we’ve looked at museums, historical houses, estates, hotels, and so on. We need a place that will fit us all (our guest list will likely end up around 200, so 160 or so actually attending), be in or close to Charlotte, not cost as much as a new car (excluding those places that said they have an $18,000 minimum charge), and not feel like a convention center (excluding some hotels - even their pictures of weddings they have hosted had an air of “today’s corporate agenda” about them).

Our first visit was to the Magnolia Room, in Rock Hill, SC. Charlotte is on the NC/SC border, so Rock Hill is not too far away. The Magnolia Room is a large room situated in some upscale community. The Room itself is surrounded by the community swimming pool, tennis court, and parking lots. In other words, not very secluded and no real outdoor location for a ceremony. Our host, Warren, explained that we could divide the room in half and have the ceremony on one side and the reception on the other. That was the point where I stopped thinking “this could still be nice” and started thinking “No. No no no no no. Not for us. No.” It also did not help that when he heard where I work , he started asking for my advice on why their speaker system and microphone system wasn’t working. Luckily, Erik’s technical expertise helped. Warren chatted a bit with Erik (Warren was a Pi Kapp), and then we left.

Pros of the place:
It really is a lovely space. Real hardwood floors (possibly maple?), great big windows, high ceilings. Has a beautiful bar area with dark woods and black marble. And the price was affordable. And has built in house sound system (although it sounded as if they were not sure how to use it).

Cons:
Only one dressing area - either Erik and I would have to share and see each other before the wedding, or one of us is getting ready before/in the manager’s office. No area for a ceremony - we are not splitting the room, and we just can’t picture our ceremony being out by the parking lot. And it’s in South Carolina, and Erik doesn’t like that state.

Me: “I thought you said you didn’t care where we got married.”
Him: “That didn’t mean we could get married in another STATE.”

Today: a visit to Birkdale Golf Club.

Thanks for the super sweet idea, Hutch! My version of not only how we met, but how I started calling him “Erik” instead of “Garrett”.

In December of 2002, our friends Gerry and Rick had a holiday party. I attended and brought my pajamas for a sleepover - Charlotte was recovering from an ice storm, and GnR were nice enough to offer their warm apartment with delicious power while I waited for Duke Power to come to the ghetto and fix the powerlines at my place. The usual gang is at GnR’s place, and a new face - someone by the name of “Garrett”. Gerry points out to me (pointedly) that Garrett is single and straight - what more could I ask for? But I was newly single and still recovering, and not interested in dating yet. Still, Garrett and I bonded over cigarettes and Austin Powers: Goldmember. He stayed until I was about to fall asleep on the sofa.

He became part of the “regular group” after that. Pizza (my maid of honor) kept saying, “You and Garrett should date. I think he likes you. You’d be a cute couple.” But I was all, “Whatever, he’s just a friend. Besides, Charlotte’s got some losers and I need some rebound dates.” Really, I thought Garrett was too sweet, too nice, too handsome to date a crazy mixed-up girl like me.

Fast forward to summer of 2003. A female friend of Gerry’s comes down to visit, and GnR have a summer barbeque. That night, as the party went on, I started to see him in a different light. And from then on, I realized how wonderful he was, and that I was really crazy about him, and I was determined to let him know.

But because I am a silly girl, I didn’t do anything logical and tell him directly… I told his roommate. And “swore him to secrecy” which of course didn’t stick. A couple of days after I told his roommate, Garrett surprised me at work, on a day when I wasn’t feeling so hot. We met in the parking lot of my building. He gave me a little stuffed gorilla in a karate outfit. I asked “What’s this for?” and he took a deep breath and said, “That’s in case you don’t like this…” and kissed me.

I was so shocked, so happy, so stunned that my mind went blank. All I could think of to say was…. “Come in, I’ll show you around the building.” I would have said something better, but my brain had exploded.

We went on our first date later that week, and it was wonderful. We kissed and held hands, and I went to bed that night knowing that he would be the man I’d marry. And that’s when I started calling him Erik.

Hey! Everyone who’s gotten married or those who know a lot about weddings!

We need some help. We’re starting to put together the list of things we need to plan and more importantly (at this time), budget for. Take a look at our budget planning page here and let us know what we’re missing in the comments of this post. Thanks!