Karen and Erik

This week, my mom told me that her co-worker’s daughter recently became engaged. (If she’s reading this, congratulations!) Mom asked if I had any advice to pass on to the daughter. Even though we’re not yet married (just over 6 months to go), I did have some advice. What follows is what I sent on. I invite you to add your advice in the comments.

Don’t let any vendor make you feel as if you are asking too many questions or being too picky. If they do, you don’t want to work for them.

Oh my goodness, do not use Asbury Park Grove as a site. Horrible, horrible and smells like urine. In fact, check out our wedding blog at www.karenanderik.com to see the Charlotte area vendors we have talked to, and our reviews.

For getting a ceremony/reception place, keep this in mind. There are 52 weeks in a year. There are thousands of couples getting married. There are only so many places to get married in. Because of this, some places have the attitude that they really don’t need to return calls or email because they’re going to get the business anyway (Daniel Stowe Botanical Garden was the worst offender - called them over a dozen times to get one lame voicemail reply back). So KEEP CALLING, and start calling NOW. We secured our places 10 months in advance after a 3 month process. That so far has been the most difficult part of the wedding planning. With every call to a reception site, ask them if they have your preferred date available, how many they can seat (if you are inviting 200 people, places like the Levine Museum of the New South are out because they can hold about 120) and what their minimum cost is for food/beverage. That will immediately tell you if they are available and in your budget.

We wanted to have a place that could house both the ceremony and reception in one place. This proved to be too much of a nightmare - a lot of sites that had a ceremony area put them in bad places (next to the dumpster or the parking lot, for example). Remember, the ceremony is the reason for the party, it should be in a special place. We ended up going with St. John’s Episcopal Church for the ceremony and Providence Country Club for the reception. With country clubs, you may have to be a member/know a member to have your event there (or it might just cost a bit more for non-members). Providence Country Club allows non-members to have events there, but it is a bit cheaper if you can get “sponsored” by a member.

Indulge in bridal magazines (seriously, they are awesome) but realize that most everything in there costs a crapload of money. The first thing you need to do is talk to your fiancé and discuss a budget. If family members can contribute, it is MUCH easier for them to contribute X amount of dollars than to say they’ll pay for a certain aspect, such as flowers.

(Note, by then I had to get back to work, but could have written much more. Leave your advice in the comments.)

One more thing checked off the list - we have the bridesmaid dresses. They aren’t as fantastic as this Hello Kitty bridesmaid dress, but they are pretty awesome in their own right. We were able to find a style that’s flattering for everyone, in the right shade of blue and definitely in the right price range. We did have to drop by a few stores, however. Random things we saw:

1. Jane Pauley. Seriously, Jane Pauley from the Today Show of days gone by. She was in Nordstrom buying something and talking to some dude in a giant cowboy hat.

2. TONS of prom dresses. Slutty prom dresses. I haven’t felt that old or prudish in a long time.

3. My wedding doppleganger. We saw her at the first store with her mom (?) shopping for a wedding dress. Her name is Kari and her wedding date is the same as ours. Her appointment was the same time as ours. Then when we went to another bridal salon, she and her mom came too. Her appointment was the same time as ours again. Get out of my head, Kari!

I’m happy to announce that we secured the florist and the cake. Flowers will be by Crawford & Co (I’d link, but they have no website yet) - a local floral design firm that had an amazing selection, great design, and a dachshund - which meant the owner and my mom have bonded. Cake will be by Edible Art - 3 tier lemon and almond poundcake with buttercream icing. Very yummy.

I also finally got off my butt and did some more work to this website - check out the Bridemaids page, with info about the girls. We’ll get around to doing the rest… eventually.

Next on our list:
Finalizing the guest list (I had no idea we knew this many people)
Creating the Save-the-Date cards, and sending them off
Have our final pre-marital planning meeting with our Reverend (Tuesday, the 25th)
Picking a registry place (Amazingly enough, Circuit City does not offer a bridal registry)
Pick out invitations
Bridesmaid dresses (This Saturday - no taffeta or butt bows allowed)
Mother of the bride dress (No taffeta or butt bows allowed)

After a couple of long, stressful months at work, Erik and I are getting our respective butts in gear on the wedding again. One thing I have had trouble with is choosing my colors. There are too many colors I like to only choose two. And the colors I DO like for the wedding are never represented in bridal magazines or websites. It’s always orange and pink, or red, or black and white, or green.

Tell us in comments - what were your colors in your wedding, or in weddings you’ve been to? How were the colors incorporated in the wedding? Am I going to be banned from the Wedding Hall of Fame if we choose more than two colors - say, an entire palette of shades in blue and green?