Karen and Erik

From AW:

Ever wonder how the small arrow on your computer monitor works when you move the mouse? Well, through the miracle of high technology and the aid of a screen magnifying lens, the mechanism becomes apparent. Click on the link below and you will find out. The image may take a minute to download and when it appears, slowly move your mouse over the light gray circle and you will see the magic. You can also click your mouse on the gray circle to see what that does. Amazing!

http://www.1-click.jp/

I saw this at gizmodo this morning. Totally effin awesome. Even better than if Survivor decided to follow me around.

Damn DVR didn’t record the first two minutes! Our TIVO never would have done that! Why do you hate me, Time Warner Cable?

We’re at the warehouse. The military has taken over the scene. Ricky Schroeder tells Jack that he’s pretty much Ricky’s hero. And his hero worship is in the form of a boner.

Jack calls the Chinese (yes, all 1.3 billion of them), who tells Jack that they want the component from the trigger device. It’s apparently some sort of magic universal nuclear trigger. Jack says he can’t get anywhere near it, and the Chinese don’t care. Audrey gets on the phone and tells Jack she’s sorry, and the Chinese hang up the phone. They don’t want Audrey using all their minutes!

Larry Fleinhart tells President Brother that seriously? He’s too sick to run the country. President Brother pushes Larry to tell him that he has a recording of VP Powers Boothe committing perjury. Karen busts in to say that Fayid is dead, CTU has the bombs, and the season can end early! President Brother says he’ll give the announcement to the country from the Oval Office, which we all know is slang for the early grave he is heading for.

Bill gives his speech to the troops - the ultra-dramatic music makes it sound so inspiring when he asks for their paperwork. Chloe leaves the de-briefing early to take a call from Jack - he’s calling in a Chloe favor to save Audrey! Jack tells her that she can’t tell Buchanan, because he’d be really mad when he finds out about the nuclear trigger whatever that Jack wants Chloe to retrieve. Chloe has the idea that Morris, last seen as a drunken pussy asshole, could totally help them out! Or at least, his computer can. But his computer is too slow… it’s been drinking too! The file finishes sending to Jack’s PDA JUST in time…

President Brother looks at a picture of the last GOOD president this show had. VP Powers Boothe meets President Brother in the Oval Office, and he looks a bit chaffed. President Brother tells him “Thanks a pantload for the nuclear thing, that let me fake everyone out! But you need to hand in your resignation.” VP Powers Boothe naturally refuses in his natural gruff manner, and President Brother plays his Trump card with Larry’s audio recording. And that, if he gets a chance? Maybe later this week? He could draft that memo saying “I quit”?

Morris realizes that the underpants hard drive gnomes have been messing with his computer and downloading a super secret set of files! Chloe admits it was her, but that she did it for Jack and Audrey, which makes it OK. Morris uses the opportunity to give her a hypocritical moral lecture, which she deflects with a simple “but Jack gave me his word!”. Morris goes to tell Buchanan, but Chloe goes herself.

Jack Bauer sneaks up behind two military agents, then tells them “What do you say we cut the chit-chat, A-HOLE! I’m Jack Bauer - OPEN THE GATE!” and they oblige because they truly have no option against such a powerful force. Jack tinkers with the suitcase nuke using his Pocket Fisherman/Nuclear Device Trigger Extractor, when Ricky Schroeder busts in, hits him in the face and arrests him! That’s really no way to treat your hero, unless your hero is Jack Bauer who enjoys the exercise. Ricky tells Bill that he had to subdue Jack (Bill’s so proud!). Bill speaks to Jack, who tries to convince Bill that he really knows what he’s doing, like all the other times he’s done this, and that he really needs to talk to President Brother.

President Brother is looking rather squinty. Think he’s about to have a stroke or something? Anyway, he gets the call from Jack Bauer - he informs President Brother that Audrey is alive and the Chinese want to exchange her for the Nuclear Trigger Thingy (henceforth NTT, my fingers are tired). Jack tells President Brother that he can be trusted to NOT give the Chinese the NTT, and he’ll blow the thing up with C-4 even if it means sacrificing himself for the country (again). And seriously, President Brother? You OWE Jack Bauer. That’s a good enough reason for President Brother!
Ricky seems pretty pissed that Jack is getting a free pass, until Jack asks for his help. He gives the plan - get Audrey out, blow up the NTT and the Chinese (all 1.3 billion of them???). Back at CTU, Chloe is pretty pissed that Morris made her tell Bill, even though it’s all working out. Surprisingly, it’s THIS that makes Chloe reconsider her relationship with Morris.

Hey! Cameo appearance by I DANA!

Jack gets directions from the Chinese, and he’s off, no thanks to Ricky’s badgering. He tells Jack that the risk is not worth “some woman”. Ricky’s jealous!

VP Powers Boothe sits and stews, as he does. His Chief of Staff (Chief Blonde) comes in, and VP tells her that he is resigning because of the audio recording that Larry provided to President Brother. Ew, they hold hands. Ew, he touches her face. He signs a letter of resignation, and Chief Blonde looks suspicious.

“Guess what, America! The reign of terror is over! We can end the season early! THUNK!” President Brother is down for the count, as the mountains of foreshadowing and Erik predicted. Since everyone is fussing over President Brother, no one notices VP Powers Boothe slip that little letter of resignation in his jacket…

Dr. Foreshadow breaks it to the White House that he’s had a serious cerebral hemorrhage, and (V)P Powers Boothe pulls his best Lifetime movie acting skills to convey what a SUPER BAD tragedy it is. Chief Blond notices a little blurb on President Brother’s agenda regarding something about Jack Bauer yanking the NTT for the Chinese. Karen and Larry work together to convince (V)P Powers Boothe that it’s all good, but he’s not having it. He is putting his foot down! I think Chief Blonde is turned on. Karen calls Bill to let him know that Jack Bauer can’t play outside anymore with the big kids. Bill tells the team, and makes Chloe stand down from the operation. Then, he calls Ricky to give him the order - turn yo’self (and Jack) around! Jack doesn’t take it lightly - he puts a gun to Ricky’s head and tell him to pull over, which he does (because he needs a change of shorts, from the look on his face). Ricky assumes Curtis’ old role of the partner who tells Jack, “the White House will never let you get away with this! You’ll regret it!” And… it’s a pretty anti-climatic finish as Jack drives off in the car without Ricky. Hopefully to attack our DVR on the way to that whole saving Audrey thing.

Good afternoon, welcome to the semi-regular meeting to discuss new business, held at the House of Garrett, in the offices of FNUR. Let’s get down to business.
First and foremost, everyone go here and marvel.

Second, Flickr & Yahoo hate me, so I had to create a new account. If you receive a contact request from “ragekagekaren”, it’s me. If you don’t receive one, then maybe you should ask nicely.

Thirdmost, I am participating in the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation “Walk to Cure Diabetes” next weekend. If you have a moment and some scratch to spare for a damn good cause, please visit my fundraising page.

Fourthlymost, the reason I have been so crappy about updating this blog lately is because I have suffered from a relapse in my clinical depression. I’ve had depression since I was a kid and been on medication in some form or another since I was 17. Over a month ago, Erik and I realized that I was having a relapse, and have been working with my doctor to get me on a new medication. I am currently on two medications - the old anti-depressant and the new anti-depressant. Soon, we will either begin taking me off the old anti-depressant (the doctor wanted me to get stable on the new one and get through the side effects before I go through the withdrawal from the old one) or switching me to a different new one because of the side effects. Anyway, I didn’t write because I felt that anything I had to say was just not true - trying to be funny when I just felt empty inside. But now that I am getting back to normal, I decided to come back and tell everyone what’s up. I’ll do my best to get back to a regular update schedule - both with 24 updates, House of Garrett updates, and another new blog feature that I’ve been tossing around (but it’s still a secret for now…).

See you next time - meeting adjourned.

From L-R, that’s Amber, John Krasinski, me, Jamsky and Pizza. The girls and I went to see David Sedaris at the Blumenthal yesterday. As we wealk inside to lobby, Amber spots a tall skinny guy and excitedly whispers, “OHMYGOD is that Jim??” and we told her no way, but it totally looks like him. A guy next to her told her it WAS in fact the guy who plays Jim Halpert from the Office. Here! In Charlotte! We pass by and stand about 15 feet away, trying to act nonchalant but not really pulling it off. We also realize that the short, skinny wrinkly blonde next to him was Renee Zellwegger! Who looks horrible in person! We wanted to get John’s autograph, but were faced with 2 dilemmas:

1) We didn’t really want to bother him - because what if he turns out to be one of those celebrities who are total jerks to their fans?

2) We really did not care about Renee, unless she could give us Ewan McGregor’s number.

I decided to take the chance and go over to get his autograph. Couldn’t hurt to ask. Renee was on the phone and John was just standing there. I walk up to him (and immediately have a brain fart and had to fight the urge to call him “Jim”) and say, “Excuse me, I’m sorry to bother you, but I just had to tell you that I’m a very big fan of your work. Would it be possible to get your autograph?” And he was SO NICE about it - he signed my journal - it was a brand new journal that I brought to sketch in if I had to wait, and to maybe get David Sedaris’s autograph in - and in fact I told him this, and he signed it “Karen - David Sedaris is WAY cooler! John Krasinski”. Since he was so nice about it, I pushed my chances and asked if he would be ok with taking a picture with me and my friends (standing now 20 feet away and trying to look without being spotted). He said sure, and we took a picture.

Meanwhile, Renee got off the phone, and as I was about to say, “Uh, I like your work too… can I buy you a sandwich?” she walked away.

We asked some stranger to take the picture - good thing Pizza had her camera! - and some jerk tried to get in the picture, which annoyed us and John and the dude taking the picture, who asked her to get out. After, I thanked him and said “Enjoy the show!” and then the girls and I walked away and dissolved into a puddle of giggles.

I figured the only way I’d get a 24 post done on time is if I wrote it as I watched it. So here we go! (PS forget the past 2 eps, a post later this week is coming explaining what happened…)

Previously on 24… Erik does his Gredenko impression. “Dude, where’s my arm?” President Brother does his Hulk impersonation. “BROTHER NUKE MIDEAST, RAAAAHHHRRR BROTHER SMASH!!!!” E says, “Good to know that coma didn’t affect his acting.”

President Brother is not trying to hear that “peace” shit, Larry FLEINhart.

Karen warns Bill about President Brother’s nuke trip, and probably wonders if the incredibly dangerous “pulling him out of a coma” might have had something to do with it. She again tries to convince President Brother otherwise, but he’s too pumped on the adrenaline shots to give a damn. We wonders why President Brother is talking to an ambassador of the Mideast country, as opposed to the dictator/ruler/president/king. But the Ambassador is too busy telling President Brother about Fayid’s arrest. President Brother aborts the nuclear attack, only to reveal to his cabinet that HE TOTALLY FOOLED THEM, it was a dummy nuke. He got you good, you fucker!

Jack Bauer is interrogating Fayid while Ricky Schroeder stands back and gets a boner. I think Jack Bauer just punched Fayid in the nuts! But Fayid won’t give him anything. While Ricky is trying (and failing) to interrogate Fayid, Jack is on the phone with Bill talking about some general Habib… and a pharmaceutical package? I don’t know, Erik just had to tell me that part again during the commercial.

If President Brother is now totally cured, I’m going to be pissed - even Soul Patch Tony had to get through recovery of a bullet to the neck! President Brother’s ‘roid rage subsides so he can lay his heart out to Larry FLEINhart. Blah blah. But President Brother knows that Larry has some dirt on VP Powers Boothe, but Larry remains mum on the subject. SHAKY HAND, that’s what I am talking about!

Jack says “Within the hour”!! And Fayid and Ricky are flirting with each other so much, they don’t see the truck that hits them! It’s full of gunmen that surround their van. A gunbattle ensues.. Ricky is hit… JACK IS HIT!!! Fayid escapes …. and WE’RE CLEAR! Turns out it was all a hox, and a “cover team” nabbed Fayid to make him think he escaped. I missed the part about the pharmaceutical package. CTU watches as the “cover team” makes Fayid think that they’re buddies of Habib. Fayid won’t lead them to the nukes unless he talks to Habib…

Bill is all, “President Brother, how can I explain this any clearer… you need to get the ambassador to let us talk to Habib!” The pressure gives President Brother menstrual cramps or something, he’s doubled over in pain. He and Karen go to talk to the ambassador, who is understandably a bit peeved at them. President Brother is playing hardball, and gets the ambassador to make the call.

The hell? Milo is all pissy at Nadia because she doesn’t completely hate Ricky Schroeder. Milo thinks he slams a girl against a wall to violate her mouth, and it makes her his betrothed or something. For once, Miles is the reasonable one here. Except he’s a pussy.
Fayid tries to trick the control team by asking them why he has not heard of them. But they have an answer, and then lo and behold, Habib is on the phone! Nadia listens in to translate for CTU. Habib plays along, confirms the “control team” are legit, calls Fayid a failure and tells him to move forward with the bombs. The team and Fayid go towards the bombs… with Jack in hot pursuit!

President Brother is no Soul Patch Tony, he’s about to drop like a sack of bricks. And he does… “no one can know!” Erik says “they’re about to have crazy carnival sex. That’s why he wants the door locked.”

Oh snap, Nadia figured out the Habib used a duress code with Fayid, who is now leading the “cover team” to danger! Jack calls the leader of the team and tries to warn them, but the signal was lost because they went into a tunnel? The hell? There’s no tunnels in LA! There’s also no more cover team, because Fayid killed them and escaped! Jack follows him into some other area of the tunnel (the part with sanitation trucks?) and grabs a hold of the bottom of the garbage truck to hitch a ride! The damn motor is too loud for Jack to have a decent phone conversation with Bill.

Dr. Whatever says President Brother’s blood pressure has dropped to 80 over 40 - Tony’s exact blood pressure when he’s sky-diving in a volcano while wrestling a rabid grizzly bear. President Brother ignores his doctor’s orders and decides to go back to work. When Tony does it, it’s heroic. When President Brother does it, it’s bad acting.

Fayid arrives to his hideout and tell them they’re going DOWNTOWN. But not before Jack goes on a KILLING SPREE! Jack shoots everyone except for Fayid, who gets a Bauer hand bite before getting hung by a metal chain. Jesus Christ! And remember, Jack did all of this after two years of torture and presumably low blood sugar from not eating recently. It’s all over - Fayid is dead and the bombs are secure! And Ricky Schroeder is SO in love with him! But we’re not in for the happy ending yet… AUUUUDREY IS ALIVE! Those nutty Chinese have her. And Jack has a new mission… Operation Pootang Rescue.

This one is for Fitz (sorry for calling you a Dick ). If Fitz thought Chloe was hot before, I bet he’s drooling now.

Thanks to aintitcool.com for the pic and post. Original story and more pics here.