Things I Learned While Unemployed
It’s not a good idea to take the dog on a morning walk until after the school buses come through for kids.
Every afternoon, the house down the street has band practice.
They suck.
It seems I am the only one who thinks that David Archuletta kid can not sing.
Jeans, sweaters and sneakers make an excellent daytime outfit. Unless you are cleaning with bleach.
When you’re working on a document (say, your resume), it’s wise to turn off any instant messaging software. Otherwise you may get sudden IMs from friends saying “I heard you have no job! That sucks!” And then the fancy business word you had for “fixing stuff” flies out of your head.
On the Maury Povich show, they are NEVER the baby’s daddy.
NEVER!
November 18th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
No, I absolutely think that David Archuletta kid can not sing.
I once dripped bleach on one of my favorite, soft, absolutely free (with 80 dollar shoe purchase) t-shirts. It still makes me sad.
Fancy business words for “fixing stuff”–problem solver, challenge challenger, botheration manager, hot water soother, quandary canceller.
Yes, canceller is a word. So is be-otch.
November 18th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
Clearly, Dana was home drinking today instead of at work.
Fixing stuff: I’m at a loss.
But instead of watching Maury, you should be watching THIS, which looks far better than it has any right to.
Plus, Eric Stoltz is the man.
Plus plus, is that nip in there? I swear it is..
November 18th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
Oh, and 24 starts this weekend. I expect a NOVEL deconstructing the 2-hour special. Put THAT on your resume.
November 18th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
I don’t even know who David Archuletta is?
“Murray, I know I was wrong the first 13 times, but this man definitely my baby-daddy, Murray”
November 18th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Does Maury Povich need to drink excessive amounts of alcohol in order to live with himself. Or maybe he thinks it’s just his way of providing a needed community service. Either way, ain’t ‘merica grand?
November 19th, 2008 at 11:46 am
Is it wrong that I first read Dana’s “botheration manager” as “boneration marathon?” If so, I’m not sure I want to be right.
November 19th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Jenn, stop bragging about your weekend plans.
November 19th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Karen, as a small bidness owner, I strongly recommend putting “boneration manager” on your resume. Every good office needs one. Anyone who doesn’t employ someone like that is an idiot.