Karen and Erik

Let’s just do a big update to catch up on the last 3 episodes, shall we?

Dubaku had to cancel plans with his girlfriend, saying “Sorry baby, I’m holding the President’s husband as a hostage to force the President to stop invading my country to overthrow my mercinary regime HELD UP AT WORK.” Girlfriend’s sister says “something’s not right about him! He’s bad news!” and she confronts Dubaku to tell him “If I weren’t tragically in this wheelchair, I would beat your shifty ass, so leave my sister alone!”

Matobo is delivered safely to the White House, where he tells President Taylor that she can totally trust the people who saved him - a man under investigation for torture WHO WON’T YELL DAMNIT LIKE I NEED HIM TO, a gentleman who looks like Doogie Howser’s grandpa, a zombie, and a potato face/stay at home mom. Oh and some whiny agent named Not Karen. But since the President doesn’t know who she can trust in her now compromised regime, it’s better than nothing. Jack and Not Karen go to save the President’s husband. First they need to go kill the floppy-haired Secret Service dude and pretend to kill his baby. Not Karen is going to be all angst-y about this for the new few episodes. NO ONE ASKED YOU TO BE HERE, NOT KAREN. Suck it up, buttercup! Anyway, they go to rescue President’s husband from Dubaku’s men. There’s a shootout, Dubaku escapes, all of the men are dead, President’s husband gets shot OH NOES. End of episode, tick tock tick tock.

President’s husband goes to the hospital where he will be in surgery for a few hours. President Taylor goes to the hospital for a bit, and makes Bill/Doogie Sr. her new head of security or whatever. She asks him to have her estranged daughter brought to her, by “someone Bill can trust.” That man is AARON PIERCE, HECK YAH!!! What’s up, Red Delicious?

Dubaku asks his girlfriend to leave the country with him, telling her he has to leave because “oh, my visa expired, INS is on the way!” She agrees and goes home to pack, and BAM Jack and Not Karen bust in. They confront her about who Dubaku really is and tell her all about the magical mythical country of Sangala. She agrees to put a tracking device on her phone and go meet Dubaku so that Jack and Not Karen can capture him. Girlfriend’s sister tells Not Karen “PLEASE TAKE CARE OF MY SISTER” which means she’s totally gonna die.

Jack and Not Karen get the help of Chloe (working at FBI now - so good to see her working at a desk and not in some random cave. Within 30 seconds of arrival, she gives Janeane the stink-eye and insults Moss. WELCOME HOME POTATO FACE!) to track Girlfriend. But they get stopped on the way because the mole in the FBI (who of course turned out to be that creepy dude who pretended to be Moss in order to land his wife’s plane, and the blonde chick he is having an affair with) issues federal warrants to arrest Jack and Not Karen. Also: Janeane calls Creepy Dude a little bitch, awesomely. That’s his name from now on.  Tick tock, tick tock.

Dubaku gets tipped off about his girlfriend from some suit dude who is working in the government and helping Dubaku escape. When his girlfriend arrives, Dubaku confronts her, smashes her phone and tells her “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed.” Also, he wants her to come with him still. Girlfriend, believing Jack and Not Karen and hot on the trail, agrees.

Jack and Not Karen are finally released from police custody when Moss tells the cops that the federal warrants was a fake. Chloe uses traffic cameras to track Girlfriend, and they follow her. But Girlfriend grabs the wheel from Dubaku and the car crashes. WELL, THAT WAS STUPID. Dubaku, nearly dead, tells Jack that he has evidence ON HIM, but Jack Bauer hears “IN HIM” and naturally forces an EMT to slice him open and retrieve a memory card from his rib cage. Girlfriend is dead, and Not Karen feels super bad about it. At the hospital, Girlfriend’s sister tells Not Karen “YOU SUCK AT PROTECTING MY SISTER!” Not Karen agrees and suddenly pulls out this giant guilt trip on Jack, like SHE wasn’t sticking a gun in some dude’s wound tract a few hours ago under her own accord.

With the memory card at the FBI, Little Bitch and Blondie realize that their names are on that card, and they need to stop Chloe and Moss from reading it. The solution? Crash the entire FBI computer system. As soon as they do that, Little Bitch shoots Blondie, then himself (in the arm), and tells Moss and Chloe that he stopped her and she was the ONLY mole in the room. Too bad for him that Chloe is awesome and retrieves the data, and Little Bitch is arrested.

Bill tells President Taylor that “It’s over!” and everything was a success and PS please pardon Jack Bauer. Jack Bauer is reflecting on the day when Zombie Tony comes up to him and tells him “The show is not called ‘11′”. There’s totally going to be another high profile attack in DC, this time from Dubaku’s boss, General Juma. It’s CANDYMAN, BITCHES! He’s in DC because someone looked in the mirror and said his name five times.

The suit that Dubaku was talking to earlier is revealed to be the aide to the Senator who was in charge of the hearing that Jack Bauer was at this morning. It’s time for them to go to the White House! The suit looks really worried, so either he thinks the President herself will arrest him, or the White House is the next target. Tick tock, tick tock.

Once again, I have waited until the last minute to do my 24 recap. This time, my only excuse is watching it when I was drugged out of my mind (see previous post), then trying to come out of my purple haze, then getting addicted to Mafia Wars on Facebook. So, get over it.

So last week, Colonel Dubaku was trying to bomb a Skyline Chili in Ohio or something. Turns out it was really a nuclear plant in a probably fake town in Ohio. Everybody in that town is about to die, except for two things. 1) The guy who was the dad in My So-Called Life (aka plant manager) risks his own life to redirect the overflow, or whatever. He dies from… I guess, radiation poisoning? This makes Janeane Garafaolo super sad.

Also, 2) Jack and Soulpatch sneak into Colonel Dubaku’s Bad Guy Hideout and screw up his chili-hating plans. In fact, Dubaku is pretty pissed at some other anonymous henchman who was supposed to kill Soulpatch and Jack in the previous episode. But because he failed, Jack and Soulpatch are now able to bust the Motobos out of the hideout. The CIP gets destroyed (it seems) and Dubaku runs away to his crappy DC apartment. Where we meet his adorable, naive girlfriend. Looks like Colonel Dubaku is going to have to take a break from his world domination plans tonight - his girlfriend made dinner plans!

OH. And most of the episode is spent trying to call the First Gentleman’s now dead Secret Service dude. Finally, the other bad Secret Service agent comes in to dead girlfriend’s apartment and takes the First gentleman away in his car. Madame President is like, man who would have thought being a president was so HARD?

This week in 24…

In DC at 8 am, that guy from Enterprise is just driving along with his daughter when BAM! His car is hit twice (2nd one was awesome) and he is kidnapped by some masked men, one of which has a soul patch and probably a craving for brains.

There’s a Senate hearing going on regarding allegations of torture (ha!) and the witness on the stand is Jack Bauer. He smartasses the senator doing the questioning, and I enjoy it. Jack testifies that he doesn’t need a lawyer because those are only for libtard pansies, that he totally tortured people, he “probably” broke procedure, and that the senator can just go ahead and wipe that smug look off his face unless he wants a manbag up the ass. As much fun as this is, he can’t continue because an FBI Agent (named Karen!) steps in and needs him NOW and it’s way more important than this piss-ant little hearing that’s probably not even on C-SPAN.

Karen and some agents take him to FBI, who also employs Janeane Garafaolo and a creepy looking dude. I personally prefer my X-Files FBI set, where it’s either a basement or a nice office, instead of this cube farm we see here. Jack meets some blonde boss dude named Moss, who tries to be all tough with him until Jack shoots him down and basically calls him a douche. I LIKE this Jack Bauer! Agent Karen tells him that they needed him because only someone as awesome as Jack Bauer could deal with a zombie. Who has risen from the dead? Do I even need to say it?

Erik: Soulpatch Tony can not be a zombie. Because he has a SOULpatch, and zombies have no soul.

Jack refuses to believe that Tony is not only alive, but now seemingly doing some sort of domestic terrorist activity. After all, Jack was there when Tony died. SO WAS I, JACK. So was I. But Agent Karen reminds him that the clock did not tick down silently, so he’s obviously still alive or at least feasting on the grey matter of every idiot who gets in his way. (Hopes this is where they cue the return of Kim Bauer…) Jack agrees to work on the case to at least prove Tony’s innocence and help him.

Meanwhile, Tony has Enterprise dude all bloodied up and creating some device for him. Turns out the device is to bust through the firewall of the system that controls everything - water and sewer, power, air traffic, etc. Cue Erik complaining that THERE’S NO WAY ONE SYSTEM WOULD CONTROL ALL THAT, OK? After some “persuasion”, the device is finalized. Tony and OMFG DONNIE PFASTER use the device to bust into air traffic control. This alerts a control tower, who alerts the FBI, who warns Ms. President.

Ms. President! She’s doing well. Except, well, the generic African country from 24:Redemption/What Jack Bauer Did On His Summer Vacation has been taken over by the guerilla leader (General Juma) and he’s committing genocide, and she has to make the call for America to invade them. Also, her son died. WTF? When she gets the news of the air traffic incident, she’s all MAN, what a bad day for THIS to happen! (trumpet)

After some investigation with FBI creepy guy, Jack finds a lead and takes Agent Karen to an old contact of his from CTU. Eurotrash Scar dude, from… hell, I forget. Scar pretends to know nothing until Jack just THREATENS to torture him with a ball point pen (then punches him, twice for flinching) . As Scar starts to give up Tony’s whearabouts, he is shot by a sniper. HATE when that happens. As FBI looks for the sniper, Tony calls Jack and tells him, BRRAAAAAAAAAAINSSS.

After that fun phone call, Tony uses “the device” with some other dudes, who makes some planes almost crash on the runway. Fun! Now make the planes arrive on time, and I’ll really be impressed. Ground control was all in a tizzy about it, but I guess that’s because none of them ever saw Die Hard 2. Now the device has been handed over to Tony’s terrorist buddies (are they zombies too?) who are working with a lieutenant from the guerilla group from the Fake African Country. Lt. Fake WILL MAKE THE GOVERNMENT PAAAAAAY for killing his brother. That wasn’t the government, that was Jack.

Jack knows the FBI must have a leak, but Agent Karen is refusing to believe it. She even makes him sit in the car until he can learn to play with the other kids! Jack soon shows her that the sniper has snuck out of the building WITH the help of one of her agents. Without telling anyone (including Moss, who is REALLY needy), they sneak away and follow the sniper as he leaves. They end up at a loading dock, kill the sniper, kill DONNIE PFASTER, and find Tony (who just deleted all of the zombie computer files). During Jack’s regularly scheduled shouting declaration of the episode (”WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!?”), Moss shows up in a friggin’ helicopter because he didn’t trust Agent Karen. Your tax dollars at work, my friends.

Today’s assignment for the comments: Agent Karen said she had Tony’s grave exhumed and DNA proved it was not his corpse in there. SO WHO WAS IT? My guess is Kim’s mountain lion.

MAN I thought I’d never be typing that one again. Thanks a lot, writers strike.

Before we start this season of 24, we have to review the 24: Redemption movie that aired in November. This “movie” was also done in real time, but only had about 10-15 minutes of awesome in it. So this is as short of a recap as I can do for a two hour movie.

Jack Bauer ended up in a fake (but troubled!) town in Africa, at some school run by that dude in Trainspotting. When the guy who played Billy in Ally McBeal comes by to serve him a federal subpoena from the US, Jack refuses it and decides to skip town. Before he can, the school is raided by militant guerilla groups looking to take the boys to make them soldiers and take over the government. Jack stops that by shooting a bunch of them, dodging a rocket-propelled-grenade and breaking a dude’s neck WITH THE BACK OF HIS KNEE. Now they must get to the US Embassy immediately as President-for-a-couple-more-hours Powers Boothe is ordering US evacuation of the fake town before the guerilla group can do a coup d’etat. This does not sit well with Ms. About-To-Be-President.

Meanwhile, Ms. About-To-Be-President’s son has some friend who works at a company that, along with Jon Voight, is secretly helping to fund the guerilla group. The son’s friend found out this, and was tortured and probably killed. Meanwhile, Jon Voight’s buddies/conspiracy extend at least into the Secret Service agent protecting Ms. About-To-Be-President’s son.Side note: Jon Voight will never reconcile with Angelina as long as he takes roles where he funds the warfare and exploitation of little boys from a generic African country.

Jack gets the kids to the embassy, missing Robert Carlyle because he accidently stepped on a mine and sacrificed himself heroically in order to blow up some of the dudes in the guerilla group and be a badass. But who is the bouncer at the embassy? Billy from Ally McBeal (note: what should his name be? Leave ideas in the comments, please). Billy from Ally McBeal says “OH SNAP, You can only let these kids get on if you surrender yourself for the federal subpoena. And I get credit for arresting you. And we tell all my buddies that I beat you up until you cried” or whatever. Point is, he takes too much satisfaction in it. But Jack is a HERO and agrees to it.

Tonight; Jack’s coming back to America, there’s an annoying kid on the chopper with him the first female US President has been sworn-in, her son seems like kind of a douche, Peter MacNichol (another Ally McBeal alum) is still working in the White House (at least he was for Powers Boothe during his last 5 seconds of crappy administration). We have not seen Soulpatch Tony yet, but I am confident that Jack Bauer will cut his head off quickly as that is the only way to kill a zombie.

YOU GUYS, I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!! Are you, or has everyone grown bored/apathetic with 24 and the recaps?

People… make sure you’re sitting down. Especially you, Fitz.

I’m afraid… I have some good news and bad news.

The good news is, the writers’ strike is over. So your shows will be coming back in a couple of months. Except…

Except for…

Well kids, here’ the bad news. 24 isn’t coming back for 11 months.

I KNOW! I KNOW! It’s ok, you can cry it out. I did.

Mommy and Daddy and Jack Bauer still love you, ok?

(PS so help me Soulpatch, I don’t know if I can make it without recapping something for 11 months. So I’ll be going back to the America’s Next Top Model recaps… I think. Or, offer other suggestions in comments.)

America’s favorite Christmas tree assassin, Kiefer Sutherland, was released from jail yesterday after serving 48 days for a DUI charge and violating probation. He is now back and ready to torture the fuck out of anyone who stands in his way. Including…

YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED, SOUL PATCH!

You can’t keep a good soul patch down!

From Ain’t it Cool:

Bauer’s day gets off to a shocking start when former colleague Tony Almeida (played by Carlos Bernard), last seen in Day 5, returns after being left for dead by a terrorist conspirator in CTU’s infirmary.

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/33727

eh.

Damn DVR didn’t record the first two minutes! Our TIVO never would have done that! Why do you hate me, Time Warner Cable?

We’re at the warehouse. The military has taken over the scene. Ricky Schroeder tells Jack that he’s pretty much Ricky’s hero. And his hero worship is in the form of a boner.

Jack calls the Chinese (yes, all 1.3 billion of them), who tells Jack that they want the component from the trigger device. It’s apparently some sort of magic universal nuclear trigger. Jack says he can’t get anywhere near it, and the Chinese don’t care. Audrey gets on the phone and tells Jack she’s sorry, and the Chinese hang up the phone. They don’t want Audrey using all their minutes!

Larry Fleinhart tells President Brother that seriously? He’s too sick to run the country. President Brother pushes Larry to tell him that he has a recording of VP Powers Boothe committing perjury. Karen busts in to say that Fayid is dead, CTU has the bombs, and the season can end early! President Brother says he’ll give the announcement to the country from the Oval Office, which we all know is slang for the early grave he is heading for.

Bill gives his speech to the troops - the ultra-dramatic music makes it sound so inspiring when he asks for their paperwork. Chloe leaves the de-briefing early to take a call from Jack - he’s calling in a Chloe favor to save Audrey! Jack tells her that she can’t tell Buchanan, because he’d be really mad when he finds out about the nuclear trigger whatever that Jack wants Chloe to retrieve. Chloe has the idea that Morris, last seen as a drunken pussy asshole, could totally help them out! Or at least, his computer can. But his computer is too slow… it’s been drinking too! The file finishes sending to Jack’s PDA JUST in time…

President Brother looks at a picture of the last GOOD president this show had. VP Powers Boothe meets President Brother in the Oval Office, and he looks a bit chaffed. President Brother tells him “Thanks a pantload for the nuclear thing, that let me fake everyone out! But you need to hand in your resignation.” VP Powers Boothe naturally refuses in his natural gruff manner, and President Brother plays his Trump card with Larry’s audio recording. And that, if he gets a chance? Maybe later this week? He could draft that memo saying “I quit”?

Morris realizes that the underpants hard drive gnomes have been messing with his computer and downloading a super secret set of files! Chloe admits it was her, but that she did it for Jack and Audrey, which makes it OK. Morris uses the opportunity to give her a hypocritical moral lecture, which she deflects with a simple “but Jack gave me his word!”. Morris goes to tell Buchanan, but Chloe goes herself.

Jack Bauer sneaks up behind two military agents, then tells them “What do you say we cut the chit-chat, A-HOLE! I’m Jack Bauer - OPEN THE GATE!” and they oblige because they truly have no option against such a powerful force. Jack tinkers with the suitcase nuke using his Pocket Fisherman/Nuclear Device Trigger Extractor, when Ricky Schroeder busts in, hits him in the face and arrests him! That’s really no way to treat your hero, unless your hero is Jack Bauer who enjoys the exercise. Ricky tells Bill that he had to subdue Jack (Bill’s so proud!). Bill speaks to Jack, who tries to convince Bill that he really knows what he’s doing, like all the other times he’s done this, and that he really needs to talk to President Brother.

President Brother is looking rather squinty. Think he’s about to have a stroke or something? Anyway, he gets the call from Jack Bauer - he informs President Brother that Audrey is alive and the Chinese want to exchange her for the Nuclear Trigger Thingy (henceforth NTT, my fingers are tired). Jack tells President Brother that he can be trusted to NOT give the Chinese the NTT, and he’ll blow the thing up with C-4 even if it means sacrificing himself for the country (again). And seriously, President Brother? You OWE Jack Bauer. That’s a good enough reason for President Brother!
Ricky seems pretty pissed that Jack is getting a free pass, until Jack asks for his help. He gives the plan - get Audrey out, blow up the NTT and the Chinese (all 1.3 billion of them???). Back at CTU, Chloe is pretty pissed that Morris made her tell Bill, even though it’s all working out. Surprisingly, it’s THIS that makes Chloe reconsider her relationship with Morris.

Hey! Cameo appearance by I DANA!

Jack gets directions from the Chinese, and he’s off, no thanks to Ricky’s badgering. He tells Jack that the risk is not worth “some woman”. Ricky’s jealous!

VP Powers Boothe sits and stews, as he does. His Chief of Staff (Chief Blonde) comes in, and VP tells her that he is resigning because of the audio recording that Larry provided to President Brother. Ew, they hold hands. Ew, he touches her face. He signs a letter of resignation, and Chief Blonde looks suspicious.

“Guess what, America! The reign of terror is over! We can end the season early! THUNK!” President Brother is down for the count, as the mountains of foreshadowing and Erik predicted. Since everyone is fussing over President Brother, no one notices VP Powers Boothe slip that little letter of resignation in his jacket…

Dr. Foreshadow breaks it to the White House that he’s had a serious cerebral hemorrhage, and (V)P Powers Boothe pulls his best Lifetime movie acting skills to convey what a SUPER BAD tragedy it is. Chief Blond notices a little blurb on President Brother’s agenda regarding something about Jack Bauer yanking the NTT for the Chinese. Karen and Larry work together to convince (V)P Powers Boothe that it’s all good, but he’s not having it. He is putting his foot down! I think Chief Blonde is turned on. Karen calls Bill to let him know that Jack Bauer can’t play outside anymore with the big kids. Bill tells the team, and makes Chloe stand down from the operation. Then, he calls Ricky to give him the order - turn yo’self (and Jack) around! Jack doesn’t take it lightly - he puts a gun to Ricky’s head and tell him to pull over, which he does (because he needs a change of shorts, from the look on his face). Ricky assumes Curtis’ old role of the partner who tells Jack, “the White House will never let you get away with this! You’ll regret it!” And… it’s a pretty anti-climatic finish as Jack drives off in the car without Ricky. Hopefully to attack our DVR on the way to that whole saving Audrey thing.

I figured the only way I’d get a 24 post done on time is if I wrote it as I watched it. So here we go! (PS forget the past 2 eps, a post later this week is coming explaining what happened…)

Previously on 24… Erik does his Gredenko impression. “Dude, where’s my arm?” President Brother does his Hulk impersonation. “BROTHER NUKE MIDEAST, RAAAAHHHRRR BROTHER SMASH!!!!” E says, “Good to know that coma didn’t affect his acting.”

President Brother is not trying to hear that “peace” shit, Larry FLEINhart.

Karen warns Bill about President Brother’s nuke trip, and probably wonders if the incredibly dangerous “pulling him out of a coma” might have had something to do with it. She again tries to convince President Brother otherwise, but he’s too pumped on the adrenaline shots to give a damn. We wonders why President Brother is talking to an ambassador of the Mideast country, as opposed to the dictator/ruler/president/king. But the Ambassador is too busy telling President Brother about Fayid’s arrest. President Brother aborts the nuclear attack, only to reveal to his cabinet that HE TOTALLY FOOLED THEM, it was a dummy nuke. He got you good, you fucker!

Jack Bauer is interrogating Fayid while Ricky Schroeder stands back and gets a boner. I think Jack Bauer just punched Fayid in the nuts! But Fayid won’t give him anything. While Ricky is trying (and failing) to interrogate Fayid, Jack is on the phone with Bill talking about some general Habib… and a pharmaceutical package? I don’t know, Erik just had to tell me that part again during the commercial.

If President Brother is now totally cured, I’m going to be pissed - even Soul Patch Tony had to get through recovery of a bullet to the neck! President Brother’s ‘roid rage subsides so he can lay his heart out to Larry FLEINhart. Blah blah. But President Brother knows that Larry has some dirt on VP Powers Boothe, but Larry remains mum on the subject. SHAKY HAND, that’s what I am talking about!

Jack says “Within the hour”!! And Fayid and Ricky are flirting with each other so much, they don’t see the truck that hits them! It’s full of gunmen that surround their van. A gunbattle ensues.. Ricky is hit… JACK IS HIT!!! Fayid escapes …. and WE’RE CLEAR! Turns out it was all a hox, and a “cover team” nabbed Fayid to make him think he escaped. I missed the part about the pharmaceutical package. CTU watches as the “cover team” makes Fayid think that they’re buddies of Habib. Fayid won’t lead them to the nukes unless he talks to Habib…

Bill is all, “President Brother, how can I explain this any clearer… you need to get the ambassador to let us talk to Habib!” The pressure gives President Brother menstrual cramps or something, he’s doubled over in pain. He and Karen go to talk to the ambassador, who is understandably a bit peeved at them. President Brother is playing hardball, and gets the ambassador to make the call.

The hell? Milo is all pissy at Nadia because she doesn’t completely hate Ricky Schroeder. Milo thinks he slams a girl against a wall to violate her mouth, and it makes her his betrothed or something. For once, Miles is the reasonable one here. Except he’s a pussy.
Fayid tries to trick the control team by asking them why he has not heard of them. But they have an answer, and then lo and behold, Habib is on the phone! Nadia listens in to translate for CTU. Habib plays along, confirms the “control team” are legit, calls Fayid a failure and tells him to move forward with the bombs. The team and Fayid go towards the bombs… with Jack in hot pursuit!

President Brother is no Soul Patch Tony, he’s about to drop like a sack of bricks. And he does… “no one can know!” Erik says “they’re about to have crazy carnival sex. That’s why he wants the door locked.”

Oh snap, Nadia figured out the Habib used a duress code with Fayid, who is now leading the “cover team” to danger! Jack calls the leader of the team and tries to warn them, but the signal was lost because they went into a tunnel? The hell? There’s no tunnels in LA! There’s also no more cover team, because Fayid killed them and escaped! Jack follows him into some other area of the tunnel (the part with sanitation trucks?) and grabs a hold of the bottom of the garbage truck to hitch a ride! The damn motor is too loud for Jack to have a decent phone conversation with Bill.

Dr. Whatever says President Brother’s blood pressure has dropped to 80 over 40 - Tony’s exact blood pressure when he’s sky-diving in a volcano while wrestling a rabid grizzly bear. President Brother ignores his doctor’s orders and decides to go back to work. When Tony does it, it’s heroic. When President Brother does it, it’s bad acting.

Fayid arrives to his hideout and tell them they’re going DOWNTOWN. But not before Jack goes on a KILLING SPREE! Jack shoots everyone except for Fayid, who gets a Bauer hand bite before getting hung by a metal chain. Jesus Christ! And remember, Jack did all of this after two years of torture and presumably low blood sugar from not eating recently. It’s all over - Fayid is dead and the bombs are secure! And Ricky Schroeder is SO in love with him! But we’re not in for the happy ending yet… AUUUUDREY IS ALIVE! Those nutty Chinese have her. And Jack has a new mission… Operation Pootang Rescue.